How do you do it?
When
I first started up with endurance riding three years ago, both my husband and I had very flexible schedules and considerably
more disposable cash on hand than we do now (thanks, Recession!). So juggling the needs of our two small children, a daughter
(5) and a son (7) was a bit easier, even without the benefit of extended family nearby to help out. Because of that
brief pocket of inexplicable "free time" that just happened to come our way, I was able to try my hand at endurance,
and I became hooked.
This was quite possibly the worst thing that ever happened to me.
For those of you who haven't had kids or are now empty-nesters and happy to forget, the details of child-rearing and family
scheduling are never ending. And for someone who has just rediscovered the soul-satisfying joy of riding a horse, fast,
out in the wild and woolly hills, schedules become more of what they really are: Restricting. And that's without little kids!
First, there is the school schedule, Monday
through Friday, which I use to my advantage for conditioning rides in between working, but which, unfortunately, doesn't
work out for attending rides during the school year since you have to leave one or
two days in advance of the ride (and thereby have someone there to get the kids on the bus by 7:40 am, clothed, with homework
done, and then off the bus at 4:15, do homework, attend cheerleading or football practice, make dinner, read bedtime stories,
etc.). Then there are all the holidays and breaks during the school year, when by some small miracle you might be able
to take them with you, but which, unfortunately, NEVER seem to coincide with ride dates. Then there's summer vacation,
so there's no school to miss, but again, if you don't have extended family to leave them with and can't bring
a sitter with you to the ride, you still can't go.
If I do get lucky enough to clear my schedule
and my kids' schedule in time for a ride, I am still between a rock and a hard place unless my husband comes, too--to
watch over the little darlings. And now that Michael is a real-life EMS helicopter pilot with a wacky, demanding schedule--trying
to fit HIS schedule with MY schedule and THEIR schedule is next to impossible! (And I'm lucky--my now 8 year old
daughter loves to ride and compete with me, so sometimes that works when there's no school but only if I can find something
for my son to do.....)
Meanwhile, let's not forget money. Getting to a ride is
expensive! There are the days taken off from work, gas money, and the ride fees. For many of us, the average ride
is 7-10 hours away with a gas bill of about $250-300. And if you ride two days at $85-90 a pop, that's close to
$200 in ride fees. And let's not forget about the extraneous stuff you're already paying on, like your living-quarters
trailer or camper, etc. I'd guesstimate that the average endurance ride costs somewhere between $500-1000, unless
it's a ride that's very close by. So just doing three rides a year could easily cost you $3000 and maybe net
you 150 rider miles if all goes well. That's both a lot and not much at the same time!
And
if money and scheduling challenges aren't enough, there's always the GUILT to consider. Come on Moms--you know
what I'm talking about. I know I'm not the only Endurance Mom one who lays awake at night wondering if I'm
being selfish by pursuing such a time-consuming and expensive hobby, one that places a lot of unspoken demands on my family.
And one that demands much of our financial resources. And one which puts me, Mom, in considerable danger, as long as
we're being honest! Is this sport and my happiness that important? Do I have the right to do this, or should
I become president of the PTO and do more acceptable and less dangerous "mom" things? And so I twist and turn,
on those occasional sleepless nights, and question myself. Like most moms everywhere, I love my kids beyond words and
want the very best for them. But does that mean I have to give up what I want, too? Or can we all get what we
want and need? Or maybe this is something I should save for later when they're more grown and don't need me
as much? Those are questions I wrestle with on a regular basis, and I bet I'm not alone.
And
yet, when you've been bitten by the endurance bug, you'll just about do anything to keep going. It's such
a cool lifestyle, in so many ways: you get to satisfy your wanderlust and see different places, you get to have a deep
relationship with your horse built on hours spent conditioning together, you get to hang out with a group of people that are
just as nuts about endurance, and horses and being out in nature as you are......and more. And if one of your kids likes
to ride too, like my daughter does, you get to watch your relationship with her deepen and unfold and know that the things
she is learning from endurance riding are skills for life: hard work, commitment, care and responsibility of another
living being, the determination to keep going even when it's hard.....
I've read that
the AERC membership is composed primarily of older, retired folks and that makes a lot of sense. You just about need
to be retired or else independently wealthy to really actively participate in the sport of endurance--having access to trails,
training and conditioning, getting to the rides, and competing demand much of one's time and money, quite possibly moreso
than other equine sports. For many of us, it's too much, and so we get out and condition, yes, but we don't
compete and attend rides. And we dream of the day when we can retire, hopefully in good enough health to finally live our
endurance dream of being a vagabond on the road.
And yet, I know there are moms just like me out
there figuring out creative ways of DOING IT. From one mom to another, I want to hear from you! What do you do--or what have you done-- to make it work for you and your family? Please write
in at info@trailwisetack.com and share your experience. Next month I'd like to post the responses so that we can
compare notes and learn from each other....and if you're not a mom, and just want to add to the commentary or tell me
to quit whining, feel free!
Meanwhile, keep on riding and happy trails!
--Michelle
Smith
September 1, 2009
